A plate
this post was submitted on 02 Feb 2024
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I prefer to call it a "Platform for Lateral Accumulation of Trace Eatables"
Or a PFLAOTE for short!
Use a plate to catch any crumbs.
You just blew my mind.
Or a plastic bag.
(NB, do not put a plastic bag over your head. Even for a croissant)
Well, if you can loop one handle around your neck and keep the bag safely under your chin, you should be alright.
It would make my day to see someone eating a croissant with a feed bag hanging from their neck
I’d like to see a Scotsman on a horse!
Are you Emma Hamilton of Nelson?
If you don't want flakes, don't eat a flaky pastry.
That's the neat part, you don't
Eat them outside walking to work.
This comment was made by a bird. Likely a pigeon. We are looking into it.
Coo
Awesome idea! And maybe you leave a trail of crumbs for birds :)
Or in case you need to find your way home again!
Just follow the birdshit
Good way to make friends with crows / ravens. Then they adopt you and maybe defend you if you get in a fight.
Toss the croissant up in the air, lean my head back, and eat it one big chomp
It’s supposed to be flaky, stop complaining
Okay, anything else?
Eat it in one bite
...a plate?
All in one bite.
This article sounds like the result of assigning a middle school student to write an instructional essay with a required word length. The middle school student asked chat GPT for help.
This shit probably makes up over 50% of the internet by now.
The article’s suggestion of “tear and spread” is what I was going to suggest.
I like to peel each layer off and eat them one at a time while I work
D:
I stick a vacuum hose up my shirt and zip tie it around my neck so that it catches any loose flakes so that I may eat them later.
Enjoy your pastry
You have to create a vacuuming of air with every bite. Just do strong, deep inhales while biting, ripping, and tearing, prior to the chewing. The crumbs will all be sucked inward towards your mouth and lungs, and you won't have any problems
Except for any issues inhaling the crumbs might cause
Eat it all in one bite.
Simply get bad croissants that aren't flaky and leave crumbs everywhere. Like what you'd get from a gas station or rest stop vending machine.
Lots of people have already tried to answer this but I've not seen the correct answer: in bed
I always eat messy things by leaning over my plate, or carefully taking bites above a bag or whatever. I like being fastidious.
My stomach gets in the way.
Why would you want to? The more crumbs that drop everywhere, the better it tastes! Just like eating hot wings is best when the sauce gets all over your entire face. If you can get some sauce on your forehead then that's a damned fine wing meal!
I bite into the widest part of the middle first, then I peel the layers apart individually and eat them with a fork and knife.
I flatten them on the plate with my hand and then put the jelly on top of it, similar to bread/sandwich.
Way easier to eat, but don't tell the French :)
Sorry, you put jam on croissants? Surely ham and cheese is the only option
It’s all getting flattened by your intestines anyways :D
It's not possible. That's like trying to eat a powdered donut and not get the sugar everywhere.
Just pick it up and eat it like a donut, basically no crumbs.
You don't need to add any toppings to them
Hmm no, I don’t recommend! That’s a one way ticket to crumbtopia! I don’t want to downvote you, but I am so so compelled to. I’ll resist, for now..