this post was submitted on 12 Dec 2024
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[–] M33@lemmy.sdf.org 90 points 6 months ago (2 children)

A professional painter told me once: I won't start painting until your wife is okay with the color samples. Then he proceeded to paint 3 different color tones and brush patterns. She made the choice. When the painter was done, she still didn't like it but didn't dare tell him herself... Of course the whole shit was painted again in plain white a few years later.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 46 points 6 months ago (3 children)

I've been married a long time. The secret is that I never make any decisions. But even with that half the time I still get blamed when something fucks up

[–] rustydomino@lemmy.world 20 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I got blamed for a hair that was found in food. I’m bald. 😬😬😬

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

LOL. Not bald but my hair is black and her's is blonde. But a few times a stray blonde hair was found and of course it was mine.

[–] Magister@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (2 children)

only half the time? You are married for less than 25 years!

[–] Gaspar@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)

lol wife bad AMIRITE GUISE????

[–] driving_crooner@lemmy.eco.br 17 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Who teach the boomers about lemmy?

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

LOL. Can't tell you how many times I sat there shaking my head as yet again I am blamed for something that I explicitly said I don't care about. And you decide because I have no opinion.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Could it be because decision making is hard and you end up telling your partner that you a) don't care about what they care about b) leave them hanging when they might need help to decide c) they end up having decision fatigue because you don't have an opinion? Sometimes, a consultation or just a talk about something one tries to make a decision on feels good, doing it all by yourself sucks.

Let's say you don't care what hotel she books. She ends up doing all the research on hotels. Presents you with it, pros and cons. You still say you don't care. Ok, so now the burden of choice is solely on her. You guys arrive, the hotel sucks. Can't you see that this is frustrating in a different way than if the two of you decided on the hotel together?

[–] krashmo@lemmy.world 4 points 6 months ago (4 children)

Your example ends with the man realizing that he actually did care about the hotel when in reality he would have probably said something like "oh well, we're only going to be here a few hours and we'll be unconscious for most of them". That is what it means when someone says they don't care. They're not hiding their true feelings from you just to be annoying.

If you are tired of making decisions tell the other person to book the hotel. Most laid back people will be fine with that. Just don't complain if that ends with you not getting what you wanted.

[–] volvoxvsmarla@lemm.ee 4 points 6 months ago

I have actually thought it might be misinterpreted because it's vague in that sentence - no, I don't mean that the guy thinks the hotel sucks. He still doesn't care. But his wife thinks it sucks and she is solely responsible for her choice. In a partnership.

Most likely, when confronted with her dislike, he would not be comforting her like "honey, it's ok, you picked a nice hotel, I don't think it's bad at all", but just be like "look, it doesn't matter, we'll just sleep here". Basically invalidating her feelings and experiences.

The point I am trying to make is: if you are in a committed relationship you sometimes have to care, have an opinion, help with decisions, even if it was something that you usually don't care about. But saying "I don't care about the outcome of something that you care about" is definitely neither kind nor loving and devastating in the long run.

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[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Nature giving women higher color perceptiveness than men but also chronic indecisiveness is a cosmic joke.

[–] Zachariah@lemmy.world 58 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Well, those are two totally different finishes. One is gloss or semi-gloss, and the other is matte.

[–] Mr_Blott@feddit.uk 48 points 6 months ago (4 children)

semi-gloss

Oh my fucking god the word is "satin" are you fucking insane that's it I'm staying at my mum's tonight

[–] TheTetrapod@lemmy.world 21 points 6 months ago

Semi-gloss is shinier than satin and less shiny than gloss.

[–] gamermanh@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Gloss/high gloss/glossy

Semi-gloss

Satin

Eggshell

Flat

[–] Benaaasaaas@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] cosmictrickster@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The bone, beige, ivory, cream, off-white…

[–] Benaaasaaas@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Eggshell is a semigloss texture, not a colour

[–] DarkDarkHouse@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

Marvellous colour that, really a super colour

[–] LouNeko@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

Don't forget to take the kids to your sisters.

[–] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 51 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The undertones and finish on the swatch card are completely different to what is on the wall.

I see a warm pinky peach undertone and a satin matte finish on the card. The wall has a cool blue green undertone and a semi gloss/satin finish.

A whole wall in the colour and finish on the swatch card will reflect light in a very different way to what the current colour does and have a much nicer ambience for a home.

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 32 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The ten of us that can tell the difference might as well be screaming in to the void my similarly photosensitive friend.

My wife can't see the difference in the colors of the lights on the Christmas tree, and bought two different brands. There's not enough of either brand to sufficiently light the tree so I have to get creative with the cooler lights.

Drives me absolutely NUTS.

[–] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 4 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Ooph, that would irk me too. Maybe buy a few more sets of lights from those same brands you already have (or even several yet again different brands), and try to wind them around the tree in a way that makes the mismatching look intentional?

[–] Wogi@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I put the cooler ones on the inside, warmer ones on the outside. Harder to tell. I end up only using a few strands of the annoyingly cool lights and it makes the tree look brighter without being able to see the dramatic difference in color.

[–] Aksamit@slrpnk.net 1 points 6 months ago

That sounds rather pretty!

[–] tacosanonymous@lemm.ee 43 points 6 months ago (1 children)

She's right. It fits the room way better.

[–] pseudo@jlai.lu 11 points 6 months ago

I mean, the current paint is ugly. From a practical standpoint, it may be nice but people need a bit more confort at home than at work or in a classroom.

[–] doingthestuff@lemy.lol 23 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I would say to run, but you're already married. I get myself out of painting by continuously - and I have to do it all the time because I also run a nonprofit where people are always insane about paint colors - I just say color isn't my thing, I delegate color selection to one person (I'd suggest OPs wife) and I don't get involved or help. If someone doesn't like a color, they know who to talk to. And even if they want help I just remind them I don't care about color and to ask someone who cares to help.

I actually do care, but I disagree with everyone around me so this is just a way of picking my battles. I have chosen not to care about color only because it saves me time and energy.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] gibmiser@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Hey man, Noone plans on their partner having a pathological obsession with the hundreds of shades and finishes of "white"

Be it paint or something else, prepare yourself to be completely confused and frustrated and decide its not worth arguing about because you love them. I wish I could help, but over the years I have never figured out what to say to help her make her decisions. Best to say little and listen a lot.

[–] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 6 months ago

My wife didn't like the color of the wall, so she sent me to get this color instead

Why is their wife unhappy with the color?

Why did she send her partner to get a different color?

Why did their wife send someone who cannot tell the difference? Why is that a laughing track?

This does not seem like it is about shade at all. It seems to be more about years of failed communication.


Or this is all fabricated and just a person making stuff up for laughing about shades of white they found in a paint shop.

[–] ramsorge@discuss.online 16 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Clearly a different color.

[–] M33@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 6 months ago

You are absolutely right. And another one with cold led light. Plus another one with direct sunlight. Plus two more when he holds the card horizontally 😆

[–] gsfraley@lemmy.world 7 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Is that color named "Susan Collins"??

[–] WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago

Too much jpeg. I think it's Sherman Williams Sunny Cthulu

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 5 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (4 children)

I actually had a very similar situation. After painting the same wall three times in three different colours I told her to fuck off and painted it white.

[–] Mickey7@lemmy.world 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

The verbiage you need is .... "I'm telling you right now that I don't care. Whatever choice you make is fine with me. Can we agree that this choice is yours and if it fucks up I hold no blame. I will not blame you for your choice because as I said I don't care." This of course applies to both men and women.

[–] ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world 6 points 6 months ago

Yeah but then you still have to paint it again because she doesn't like it.

[–] Gerudo@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Didn't learn to paint a sample section first?

[–] FelixCress@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I did, made no difference. Large surface looks different.

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[–] jdeath@lemm.ee 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

fyi, "Agreeable Gray" is the best shade of white, i like the satin finish so it's easy to wipe off kid stains and fingerprints etc

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 2 points 6 months ago

A.k.a. millennial grey. I have several rooms this color.

If you're looking for something warmer, go with Panda White.