this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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[–] AdamBomb@lemmy.sdf.org 77 points 2 months ago

+3 to hit vs. Popes, Cardinals, and Bishops. On hit, Popes who are alive but playing dead must save vs. Fortitude or die.

[–] DemBoSain@midwest.social 53 points 2 months ago (3 children)

It's a silver hammer, so it could also check if the Pope is a werewolf.

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 41 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Can't let that happen again.

[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 2 months ago

The events inspired the band Powerwolf.

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[–] kersploosh@sh.itjust.works 35 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer came down on his head
do do dooo do
Bang bang Vatican's gilded hammer made sure that he was dead
whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o whoa-o

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[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 34 points 2 months ago

The hammer is actually a 100lb two handed weapon

[–] bdot@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago (2 children)

my favourite fact is that “factoid” doesn’t mean “little fact” but is actually starting to mean that

[–] creamlike504@jlai.lu 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

What does it actually mean?

Edit: Nevermind, @jerkface already answered.

[–] logos@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago

In this case it seems to fit pretty well.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 months ago

Hit him once. If he is silent, hit him again. If he is silent again, hit him again. If he remains silent, he is dead.

Hit him once. If he shouts, you've got two more swings to make him stop.

[–] Nougat@fedia.io 18 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] f4f4f4f4f4f4f4f4@sopuli.xyz 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

D'oh, it should say "another target Cleric" to avoid confusion.

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 15 points 2 months ago (3 children)

I bought one of those at Harbor Freight for like ¼ the price the Vatican probably paid.

[–] KingJalopy@lemm.ee 20 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Yeah but it breaks after hitting 2 popes

[–] lime@feddit.nu 10 points 2 months ago

that's still a good 40-50 years of use!

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[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 15 points 2 months ago (2 children)

What about the holy hand grenade?

[–] sik0fewl@lemmy.ca 12 points 2 months ago

First shalt thou take out the Holy Hammer. Then, shalt thou strike three times, no more, no less.

Three shalt be the number thou shalt strike, and the number of the striking shall be three. Four shalt thou not strike, nor either strike thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out.

Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, thy pope shall snuff it.

[–] derpgon@programming.dev 4 points 2 months ago

HAAAALELUJAH

[–] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 12 points 2 months ago (4 children)

Well you have to be sure. I wonder where they keep the Pope hammer in between deaths

[–] Rolder@reddthat.com 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Maybe the pope gets a bonk every day to ensure that he is, in fact, still alive?

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[–] El_Azulito@lemmy.world 12 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I have one of these on my coffee table that’s decoration. Found it just laying in some room when I visited the Vatican in the 90s. Weird.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It gives +5 to-hit and damage, +2d6 holy damage, +5 to carpentry skill, and can only be equipped by Catholics. It deals double damage to lycanthropes.

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[–] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 11 points 2 months ago

The ancient custom of throwing the body into the Tiber river is too unrefined for these modern times

[–] InverseParallax@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

"I fear the Pope has died!"

"You can't say things like that! You have to be sure!"

*wham-"Ack!!" wham wham

"OK, I'm sure the pope is dead."

[–] iAvicenna@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

+5 damage and THAC0 against undead (Pope)

[–] Stamau123@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

you know it's an ancient artifact when it uses THAC0

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[–] thesohoriots@lemmy.world 8 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I prefer the Holy Ball-Peen.

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[–] qbus@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago
[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Which side do they hit him with?

[–] peteypete420@sh.itjust.works 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] KulunkelBoom@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago (3 children)
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[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 6 points 2 months ago

The papal tappy taps

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

Live your life such that they have to verify your death

[–] sirico@feddit.uk 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

That is some Guilliman level artifact

[–] finitebanjo@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago

The silver hammer of Saint Maxwell.

[–] smegger@aussie.zone 5 points 2 months ago

Clearly an anti zombie tool. Can't have the pope rising from the dead, it'd mess up the church's image.

[–] postmateDumbass@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Bing, Bong, Witch is dead!

[–] miss_demeanour@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago
[–] Asafum@feddit.nl 4 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I wish I wasn't at work on mobile... I really want to take that chart of hammers posted on Lemmy a few days ago and add the dead pope hammer lol

[–] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (6 children)

Sloppy job on mobile, but here:

[–] atlas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

the title on the weapon alone deserves its own post. top tier

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[–] Crumbgrabber@lemm.ee 4 points 2 months ago

Pope Says he's feeling better now...

[–] Default_Defect@midwest.social 4 points 2 months ago

Popehammer is my favorite Elder Scrolls artifact.

[–] PapaStevesy@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

It was in a book of papal facts my very Catholic childhood friend had on the bus one time, so I buy it. One additional aspect I remember is that they call them by their Christian/given name when they hit them.

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