this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
316 points (96.7% liked)

Microblog Memes

7667 readers
2037 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 37 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] axx@slrpnk.net 3 points 57 minutes ago

What up you decrepit shit magnets?

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 hour ago

Maybe not being reblogged is part of the truth you are afraid to face? Just a thought

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago (2 children)

Dutch cursing formula:

Adjective + Adjective + Disease + “Sufferer”

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 1 points 52 minutes ago

Big round plague sufferer

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

"Vies vuile kanker leider!"

Of zo iets. Ben niet echt goed met Nederlands meer.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 7 points 2 hours ago (1 children)

You're all a bunch of delicious fucking people! Just attractive goddamn heroes! I'm fed up with it, you lovable bloody honeys!

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 1 points 38 minutes ago

They probably should have specified that the adjectives have negative connotations.

[–] Curiousfur@lemmy.world 5 points 3 hours ago

I personally love "troublesome goddamn elbow"

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 40 points 6 hours ago (8 children)

Also, anything becomes a bizarre sex act if you put a place name in front of an inanimate object.

A Yukon hairdryer.

A Baltimore oilcan.

A Moscow boot lace.

A Nairobi ice cream cone.

or a crap cocktail.

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 7 points 3 hours ago (2 children)
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 points 2 hours ago

https://youtu.be/ykEGtwJuZIs

And this isn't over until one of us gets a 'rusty venture.'

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 3 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago) (1 children)

That's when you fuck a clone of your own dead dad, but the clone is only 1/16th your dad's actual size.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

In my country, we call that Wednesday.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 4 points 3 hours ago

Reminds me of the time my ex and i tried the San Bernadino Toilet Roll. Good times.

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 8 points 4 hours ago (3 children)

A Moscow boot lace.

Sex act, or means of dispatching a political rival?

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 2 hours ago

Why not both?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)

Both. And it involves vodka and a chilled, handcrafted copper mug.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 points 2 hours ago

I did the both commnet before I saw yours.

The handcrafted copper mug makes yours the superior comment. I bow to your perversion.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 4 points 3 hours ago

Latter but while naked so first as well.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 17 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

A Saskatchewan can opener

The ol' Miami snowshoe

I think you're on to something...

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 6 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I'm howling at all of these

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 2 hours ago

The Albuquerque Track Shovel

[–] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 5 points 5 hours ago

Don’t forget the reverse Romanian Wilkinson.

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

San Diego thank you

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 6 points 6 hours ago

Pfui!

That's just a Rangoon artichoke, except with opera gloves and a few extra bowling pins.

[–] visc@lemmy.world 15 points 6 hours ago

It’s even better if the adjective doesn’t mean “bad”, you incandescent fuck burger.

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 5 points 4 hours ago

Shoutout to my abominable shit goblin homies

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 11 points 6 hours ago* (last edited 6 hours ago)

this is such a stupid fucking post

edit - oops, that's adjective-presentParticiple-noun.

or maybe it's adjective-expletiveAttributive-noun..

fun fact: the term "expletive" is a modern word from the Nixon scandal.

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago

sorry excuse for an intolerable ass pastry

As opposed to a shining exemplar of an intolerable ass pastry

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 7 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

You're such sn awful shit poster. Wait that came out weird.

[–] visc@lemmy.world 12 points 6 hours ago (1 children)

This made me realise “you shit shit shit” fits the pattern

same with "you fucking fuck fuck"

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 11 points 7 hours ago

This seems like the toned down version they give to instructors on Basic.

[–] Ragdoll_X@sh.itjust.works 3 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 hours ago

Fyi, there's a sequel(!) and it's really cool.