this post was submitted on 22 May 2025
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Microblog Memes

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A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

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[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 56 points 2 months ago (8 children)

Also, anything becomes a bizarre sex act if you put a place name in front of an inanimate object.

A Yukon hairdryer.

A Baltimore oilcan.

A Moscow boot lace.

A Nairobi ice cream cone.

[–] Apeman42@lemmy.world 23 points 2 months ago (1 children)

A Saskatchewan can opener

The ol' Miami snowshoe

I think you're on to something...

[–] Track_Shovel@slrpnk.net 9 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I'm howling at all of these

[–] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

The Albuquerque Track Shovel

[–] dejected_warp_core@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (3 children)

A Moscow boot lace.

Sex act, or means of dispatching a political rival?

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Both. And it involves vodka and a chilled, handcrafted copper mug.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

I did the both commnet before I saw yours.

The handcrafted copper mug makes yours the superior comment. I bow to your perversion.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

Latter but while naked so first as well.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

Why not both?

[–] gofsckyourself@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)
[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 7 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

That's when you fuck a clone of your own dead dad, but the clone is only 1/16th your dad's actual size.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

In my country, we call that Wednesday.

[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

https://youtu.be/ykEGtwJuZIs

And this isn't over until one of us gets a 'rusty venture.'

[–] slothrop@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 7 points 2 months ago

Pfui!

That's just a Rangoon artichoke, except with opera gloves and a few extra bowling pins.

[–] dfyx@lemmy.helios42.de 5 points 2 months ago

Don’t forget the reverse Romanian Wilkinson.

[–] Mac@mander.xyz 4 points 2 months ago

Reminds me of the time my ex and i tried the San Bernadino Toilet Roll. Good times.

[–] Vinny_93@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago

San Diego thank you

or a crap cocktail.

[–] visc@lemmy.world 24 points 2 months ago

It’s even better if the adjective doesn’t mean “bad”, you incandescent fuck burger.

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 20 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're all a bunch of delicious fucking people! Just attractive goddamn heroes! I'm fed up with it, you lovable bloody honeys!

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

They probably should have specified that the adjectives have negative connotations.

[–] qarbone@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

It requires a negative adjective and a neutral-to-negative noun. Which effective boils down to "call them mean things with some curse words in the mix."

[–] samus12345@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago

Eh, if the adjective is negative a positive noun still works as a sarcastic insult.

[–] toy_boat_toy_boat@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

this is such a stupid fucking post

edit - oops, that's adjective-presentParticiple-noun.

or maybe it's adjective-expletiveAttributive-noun..

fun fact: the term "expletive" is a modern word from the Nixon scandal.

[–] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 11 points 2 months ago

This seems like the toned down version they give to instructors on Basic.

[–] nutt_goblin@lemmy.world 11 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I hope this post is at least 10 years old because it is such a powerful example of 2010s millennial humour

[–] CCAirWater@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

I was laughing. Now I feel personally attacked. 😅

You're not wrong tho

[–] SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world 9 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Dutch cursing formula:

Adjective + Adjective + Disease + “Sufferer”

[–] pineapplelover@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

Big round plague sufferer

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world 2 points 2 months ago

"Vies vuile kanker leider!"

Of zo iets. Ben niet echt goed met Nederlands meer.

[–] axx@slrpnk.net 8 points 2 months ago

What up you decrepit shit magnets?

[–] Curiousfur@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

I personally love "troublesome goddamn elbow"

[–] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You're such sn awful shit poster. Wait that came out weird.

[–] visc@lemmy.world 13 points 2 months ago (1 children)

This made me realise “you shit shit shit” fits the pattern

[–] Bob_Robertson_IX@discuss.tchncs.de 10 points 2 months ago

same with "you fucking fuck fuck"

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 5 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Chat GPT has joined the conversation:

Funny ones:

bewildered crap muffin

janky bitch canoe

slippery hell donut

cringeworthy dicktopus gremlin

moist bastard pancake

turbulent ass goblin

sneaky cockwaffle beetle

unloved fart sponge

pickled shit wizard

forgettable piss cactus

Scathing ones:

sanctimonious dick weasel

malignant fuck crust

insufferable shit barnacle

joyless bastard vampire

vapid cockroach husk

obnoxious tit gnome

worthless twat lantern

hollow bitch statue

septic bile ghoul

conniving dickhead otter
[–] mycelium_underground@lemmy.world 4 points 2 months ago

"Malignant fuck crust" goes hard.

[–] Sirdubdee@lemmy.world 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Was dicktopus a thing before or did chat gpt invent it?

[–] stinky@redlemmy.com 5 points 2 months ago

I ... Have no idea

I have never heard it before

[–] magnetosphere@fedia.io 5 points 2 months ago

Shoutout to my abominable shit goblin homies

[–] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago

sorry excuse for an intolerable ass pastry

As opposed to a shining exemplar of an intolerable ass pastry

[–] lugal@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 months ago

Maybe not being reblogged is part of the truth you are afraid to face? Just a thought

[–] Ragdoll_X@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of Oh...Sir!! The Insult Simulator

[–] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

Fyi, there's a sequel(!) and it's really cool.