this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] 0ops@piefed.zip 104 points 1 month ago (4 children)

Wow. That looks violently delicious.

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That looks very unhealthy. I want it.

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Have you seen what most of us Americans eat!?

[–] LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Hey, everything in moderation, including moderation

[–] Empricorn@feddit.nl 6 points 1 month ago

Please don't moderate my moderation!

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[–] mrgoosmoos@lemmy.ca 8 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I have never tasted a meatball that size that wasn't poorly cooked.

and the ones that I haven't tasted but have seen looked dry as fuck

I am skeptical

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[–] BleatingZombie@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I don't want to imagine that cereal mascot

[–] danc4498@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They should put a popsicle stick in it and sell it at food trucks.

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[–] Jackusflackus@lemmy.world 52 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

Aaah, giant meatball. The hallmark of a D grade Italian restaurant.

[–] TheTechnician27@lemmy.world 41 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

This isn't necessarily true. Italian meatballs are usually small, but polpette alla Napoletana are often on the larger side. You just need to be discerning. (The one pictured looks pretty mid and still too big.)

[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 8 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Christ, that website has five layers of shit in the way.

[–] three@lemmy.zip 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] tja@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

With ublock I still got two layers

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 4 points 1 month ago

With my ublock, I got 3 popups. You're not kidding.

[–] wabasso@lemmy.ca 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Fake: No. Anon went with their parents. Gay: No. Less than two balls present.

[–] coffee_tacos@mander.xyz 14 points 1 month ago

Fake: anon left the house. Gay: anon wanted more balls

[–] NaibofTabr 28 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Did it roll right out the door?

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (1 children)

I always thought that song was so sad until recently when i looked up the full lyrics to the song and realized it had a happy ending.

The song was a parody of "On top of old smoky" and it was popularized by Tom Glazer who sang the song in 1963.

The lyrics he sang was

On top of spagetti all covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed

It rolled off the table, it rolled on the floor.
And then my poor meatball rolled out of the door

It rolled in the garden and under a bush.
And then my poor meatball was nothing but mush.

The mush was as tasty as tasty could be,
And early next summer it grew to a tree.

The tree was all covered with beautiful moss.
It grew great big meatballs and tomato sauce.

So if you eat spaghetti all covered with cheese,
Hold on to your meatball and don't ever sneeze.

[–] xspurnx@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 month ago

First thought this was a Aqua Teen Hunger Force reference - but this is much better. Thanks!

[–] chemical_cutthroat@lemmy.world 22 points 1 month ago

That looks like the meatball they didn't expect anyone to order.

[–] sangriaferret@sh.itjust.works 17 points 1 month ago (1 children)

That's just a round meatloaf.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 3 points 1 month ago

No, a meatloaf is early Borg protein, this is advanced Borg protein.

We are fed.

[–] TigerAce@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 1 month ago

Meatballs like that are a common dish in the Netherlands (gehaktbal). But mostly served with potatoes and vegetables. Or as a snack, cut in slices with onion slices in between and with peanut sause (bere bal or bere hap, bear ball or bear snack).

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 month ago (6 children)

The question is whether it’s actually cooked. I don’t even know how long that meatball would need to sit, cooking in sauce. Small meatballs require 15 minutes to drink in the flavor but only 10 to cook completely through. This monster needs at least an hour on medium-low for a pink center. Is that even safe? How long can you let bacteria live in pleasant warmth and multiply before turning dangerous? Not to mention the lack of char, meaning this is just a boiled meatball with the texture of boiled meatball.

[–] dmention7@midwest.social 9 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Whenever I've made homemade meatballs, we just bake them in the oven to cook, then either add to the sauce or serve separately.

I guess you'd just cook this monster like a lil meatloaf.

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[–] nuggsy@lemmy.world 7 points 1 month ago (6 children)

My nan got a recipe from this Italian lady, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. The recipe says to cook the sauce for one hour and then you add the meatballs and cook them for 1.5 hrs.

[–] LOLseas@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)

You must giveth the recipeth hereth noweth.

[–] nuggsy@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (6 children)

Sure! As requested

It says to roll into small balls, but small could be anything depending on context.

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[–] GreenShimada@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

I would guarantee this thing is overcooked to hell, dry as a paper towel in the center. It probably swam in day-old red sauce in a pot for 90 minutes to prevent lawsuits, then cooled off, cooking another 20 holdover minutes. Then into the fridge to be microwaved when anon orders it.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] Master@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 month ago

God damn it why did I click that link. I knew better but now im hungry!

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[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 1 month ago

I ate dinner at a friend's house way back when I was in middle school (not like overtly Italian, pretty WASP-y), and his parents made spaghetti and meatballs, and the meatballs were about this size. I remember the meal being pretty delicious though.

Why the fuck do I even remember this bullshit?

[–] cook_pass_babtridge@feddit.uk 12 points 1 month ago

Tablecloth checks out.

[–] blackbeards_bounty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 month ago (5 children)

Betting this is (was?) Buca di Beppo. God I miss that place

[–] wieson@feddit.org 7 points 1 month ago (2 children)

Americans only know chain restaurants smh in sadness

[–] TheGreenWizard@lemmy.zip 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

They were just expressing they have fond memories of eating at a restaurant, calm down lol

[–] wieson@feddit.org 3 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I am not at all agitated, I truly feel for them. It is not their fault.

Well, I could mention local restaurants, but:

  1. That would dox my location
  2. You wouldn't recognize them anyway
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[–] mindbleach@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 month ago

What restaurant, though. That looks fantastic.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

dude there's a... you know i always thought it was a chinese place but now i'm not so sure. at very least it was a southeast asian restaurant i used to live down the street from, and they had this meatball over rice they'd serve. i eyeballed it lustfully every time someone would order it but never worked up the courage. maybe in two weeks i'll ask the wife

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