this post was submitted on 01 Oct 2025
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Not The Onion

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[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

Maxwell Studio Apartment K Cups.

[–] buddascrayon@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

New tag line:

"Maxwell Apartment, cause let's face it, you will never be able to afford a House."

[–] jve@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago (1 children)

What’s the opposite of eating the onion?

I thought this was satire through the whole read.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

I'm still not sure.

I think I need more coffee.

[–] xia@lemmy.sdf.org 72 points 2 days ago (1 children)
[–] unwillingsomnambulist@midwest.social 33 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Apparently it’s a temporary thing, but still wild.

[–] Blackfeathr@lemmy.world 22 points 2 days ago (2 children)

Sounds like a silly gimmick.

[–] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 3 points 1 day ago

Reminds me of the IHOB bit.

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

It's a pretty good gimmick though.

[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 6 points 1 day ago (1 children)

personally i fucking hate marketing stunts designed to generate headlines for companies that haven't had any in years. this seems like a really cheap way to say "haha folks sure are struggling, anyway buy our products!"

[–] CmdrShepard49@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Normally I'd agree with you but I think Maxwell House is struggling right alongside them. I drink a shit ton of coffee and forgot they even existed as a brand.

[–] hypnicjerk@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

dude, kraft heinz is not a person, it's one of the largest companies in the united states. stop anthropomorphizing brands.

(yes, the company is not doing great, but that's a risk of a capitalist market & the investors/executives who are beholden to its KPIs are not going hungry)

[–] Triasha@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

It got us talking about it. Marketers high fiving right now.

[–] 01189998819991197253 4 points 1 day ago (2 children)

TIL this shit excuse for coffee-flavored water still exists.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Most of us can't afford nice things.

Hence, the name change I suppose.

[–] ikidd@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

At $21/can if you can believe it.

[–] 01189998819991197253 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Uhm, have you been in a grocery store lately? It's nearly impossible to leave without spending less than 100$ if you're buying a week's worth of food for one or two people. I have no idea how families are surviving right now.

But at least we all voted for fascism, that will surely help us all afford nicer coffee.

[–] SaveTheTuaHawk@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 day ago

But the tariffs will bring back banana manufacturing to America. Some of the best coffee came from Scranton, PA.

[–] DarkAri@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Massive amounts of people are dying and have been for over a decade now it's just unreported. We live in the soviet union.

[–] BeMoreCareful@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I'm over here buying a 25 pound bag of rice and trying to master the art of the pot of beans.

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

Rice and beans are key to survival right now... assuming you don't have blood sugar problems, white rice is unfortunately, basically sugar.

I try to mix white with brown to stretch it and reduce the "hungry again 30 minutes later" effect of simple carbs.

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 7 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It is the distant future, the year two thousand!

We are robots.
We have Maxwell Walmart pushcart and we don't understand the origin of this brand but love the taste!

[–] lazyViking@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Finally, robotic beings rule the world

The humans are dead

[–] OhStopYellingAtMe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

We used poisonous gasses and we poisoned their asses…

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

The humans are dead...
The humans are dead...

[–] altphoto@lemmy.today 2 points 1 day ago

Introducing Maxwell individual robot care blister packs! Now with 50% engine oil option for lubricity!

[–] MadMadBunny@lemmy.ca 31 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

To be rebranded again to Maxwell Tent in a couple of years

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

Maxwell Shanty - for the warm, satisfying taste of displaced survival

[–] lettruthout@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

Then, a few years after that, to cardboard box.

[–] Adderbox76@lemmy.ca 9 points 2 days ago (3 children)

I don't get the advertising idea behind this? Is it supposed to be implying that people in smaller living situations drink less coffee? Is it smaller containers because apartments supposedly lack as much storage as houses?

Beyond just being a stupid idea from a company perspective, it's also a stupid idea from a marketing perspective because your marketing campaign is ostensibly supposed to make sense. There's no correlation between coffee and size of a person's living quarters, and so it seems that the joke is entirely based on "apartment is like house". Which a fifth grader could have come up with...

I hate this timeline.

[–] skuzz@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 1 day ago

It's basically the waffle house thing but much less clever, and even that was stupid. "User engagement" is what they are looking for. Our talking about a can of burned wood, hamster bedding, and old coffee grounds guarantees a sales increase. People should start boycotting products when they do stupid crap like this to discourage the behavior, but honestly, much bigger fish to fry right now.

[–] BanMe@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

If you dig through the finer marketing print, it seems like this is a concept you can "lease" for the next 12 months, meaning it's not a rebrand at all, just a year of alternative packaging. But hey everyone is talking about them, so it worked.

[–] nandeEbisu@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Its supposed to trigger conversation so people post about it on link aggregators like lemmy or reddit to make fun of it, but also communicate the campaign to a wider audience without needing to spend money on advertising.

[–] ThunderQueen@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

Lmfao "opting to rent" as if we have a choice

[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago (2 children)

To celebrate the limited-time rebrand, the company is offering consumers a 12-month “lease” of Maxwell Apartment coffee, which is designed save coffee lovers across the United States money. For less than US$40, consumers can stock their pantry with a full year of coffee to save coffee enthusiasts more than US$1000 annually.

Sucks to not have room for it in their apartments

[–] phutatorius@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I'm surprised they can legally call it coffee.

[–] ParadoxSeahorse@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I presumed it was short for “house blend”. The hotel history is arguably more worthy of consumption

[–] luciferofastora@feddit.org 2 points 1 day ago

Hold on, the coffee was named for a hotel that hosted the KKK before it was even done?

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 2 points 2 days ago

Honestly that deal sounds amazing. My office has a Keurig and pods are stupidly pricey. I bought a coffee maker and probably spend $100 for shitty grinded coffee a year.

Unfortunately, Maxwell House gives me headaches.

[–] Bot@sub.community 14 points 2 days ago

Maxwell Hobo is on the way

[–] iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

So if I start drinking this swill, instead of fancy lattes, I'll be able to afford everything, right?

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (1 children)

Shut up and eat your protein bricks and get back to work. You're not being not paid to ponder things.

[–] iamdefinitelyoverthirteen@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Will I be able to afford a house before I turn 70?

[–] ameancow@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

If you accrue enough PeasantPoints™ you can cash them in for up an hour each week of House Premium, a virtual home-like experience delivered streaming directly to your government-supplied headset, delight in the following virtual experiences:

  • Dry floors and a roof!
  • Windows with view of tree!
  • Dog!
  • Chair-like fixtures!
  • No ants!
[–] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Maxwell Bedsit, more like! Also, didn’t know this still existed.

[–] atomicbocks@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Okay but the Maxwell House was a hotel…