this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 124 points 3 days ago (3 children)
  1. This is basically the Canadian version of The Onion.

  2. The joke is that trump might kidnap him too

[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 53 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Trump just annexed Venezuela after threatening them.

Trump has also threatened Greenland, Canada, and Mexico. Are you sure it's a joke?

[–] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 25 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Headline:

Mark Carney turns off geolocation on phone just in case

The implied joke is that the reason is trump might kidnap him too, because it is plausible.

What exactly don't you understand about how it's a joke?

Are you sure you just don't know what a joke is?

If I make a joke about trump having a tiny mushroom dick, would you say it can't be a joke because it's true?

Like, what the actual fuck are you even trying to say here, and why are people up voting it?

The website is literally a parody website, every single article is a joke. If you think differently, you just bit the beaver.

[–] Typhoon@lemmy.ca 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Beaverton/Onion comments are always full of people making jokes about "are you sure this is satire?". Relax. Take a breath. Sure givesomefucks but maybe give a few less fucks when it comes to dumb comments on a Beaverton article.

[–] Washedupcynic@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 days ago

Some people don't understand that comedy is rooted in tragedy. It makes light of the tragic as an outlet. So no, givesomefucks, some people do not know what a joke is.

[–] Lemmyoutofhere@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 days ago

Bit the beaver eh?

[–] Steve@startrek.website 11 points 3 days ago
[–] webp@mander.xyz 1 points 3 days ago

[laughtrack]

[–] AGM@lemmy.ca 35 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Finally posted a response. Weak.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Is it so hard to copy and paste the text?

[–] AGM@lemmy.ca 5 points 2 days ago (1 children)

By all means, feel free to do so.

[–] quick_snail@feddit.nl 1 points 10 hours ago

I can't. Because its an image of text.

[–] Sunshine@lemmy.ca 54 points 3 days ago

Mark Carney: and that's why I had graphene os Installed on every phone in the family.

[–] MudMan@fedia.io 41 points 3 days ago (1 children)

It's funny because a fascist regime just blitzkrieged South America.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 2 days ago

Real hilarious stuff.

[–] Mulligrubs@lemmy.world 33 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Ha, the joke is that you can't turn off geolocation! That is why it is funny! Ha ha!

ohhhh now i get it

[–] Hirom@beehaw.org 18 points 3 days ago (2 children)

To turn off your phone's geolocation, turn off your phone.

[–] gramie@lemmy.ca 14 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Even if you turn off your phone, there is a lower-level operating system that is still connecting to cell phone towers. You either have to take the battery out, or leave your phone at home.

Try doing a search for "baseband processor".

[–] Warl0k3@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

Not... exactly.

Baseband processors could hypothetically remain energized and pull a list of nearby base stations, but it's not possible for it to be transmitting without you knowing (the battery drain would be extremely obvious). I have also never heard of this happening, nor can I find an example of this being documented behavior, nor can I find an example of someone enabling this functionality while the device has been powered off.

What can happen is something like the subversion of the power-off state to be simply an implementation of the OS's standby state - this is extremely difficult in any modern mobile OS (again I can't find examples of this being demonstrated without arbitrary code execution) but is the method rumored to be employed by the various security groups.

If you're being targeted by a group on the level of (ex:) the mossad, having a phone at all is a liability, even if the battery has been removed. If you're not the target of a security group, turning off your phone is a great way of preserving your privacy.

(Also, fun little side note, depending on your region leaving your phone at home won't do anything to prevent your location be tracked. Whee!)

[–] Tja@programming.dev 4 points 2 days ago

Phone seems too risky, let's switch to pagers instead, what could possibly go wrong?

[–] GreyEyedGhost@piefed.ca 12 points 3 days ago

RF-blocking bags can also solve this problem.

[–] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 4 points 2 days ago

You can put it in a faraday cage

[–] Digit@lemmy.wtf 5 points 3 days ago

Or just don't have one.

[–] rekabis@lemmy.ca 3 points 2 days ago

The Beaverton really needs to stick to satire, it was never meant as an advice column.

[–] BagOfHeavyStones@piefed.social 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)

Can any phones operate in starlink only mode? Would that offer any protection or would SpaceX just give the data to whoever asked?

[–] sbv@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 days ago

Given Musk's hard right turn, I'm not sure I'd trust Starlink with much.

[–] VeganBtw@piefed.social 11 points 3 days ago

Well if you ask me, I only use Chrome on my iPhone connected to Starlink to order from Amazon with my credit card, I'm basically a ghost.