this post was submitted on 21 May 2024
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askchapo

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Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

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  2. If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.

  3. Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.

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[–] Dirt_Owl@hexbear.net 62 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Laughing at whatever fed got the job of wading through tens of thousands of bad posts

[–] batsforpeace@hexbear.net 62 points 1 year ago (2 children)

fedposting writing a report on the latest beanis discourse

[–] FnordPrefect@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

It would be great if beanis posting became the present day Louie Louie:

The following month an outraged parent wrote to Attorney General Robert F. Kennedy alleging that the lyrics of "Louie Louie" were obscene, saying, "The lyrics are so filthy that I can-not [sic] enclose them in this letter." The Federal Bureau of Investigation investigated the complaint, and looked into the various rumors of "real lyrics" that were circulating among teenagers. In June 1965, the FBI laboratory obtained a copy of the Kingsmen recording and, after 31 months of investigation, concluded that it could not be interpreted and therefore the Bureau could not find that the recording was obscene.

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

beanis

"Hey, Mike - stop what you're doing for a sec."

"No." He doesn't look at Bob. He keeps tying at a fast clip.

"Just a sec. You've been working on the bear site non-stop since yesterday. I'm Bob Nobody and you're Mike Rando. You're not gonna get out of this cubicle and promoted faster if you work work yourself like a dog."

"Work produces results."

"C'mon. Just a sec."

"Fine. You have a 30 seconds." Looks at watch. "Starting... now."

"What does beanis really mean?"

"It's in the 𝙷𝚎𝚡𝚋𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝙳𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚍𝚎𝚍 𝚃𝚎𝚛𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚢 𝙱-𝟻 file."

"Just tell me."

"No."

"You've already done at least 5 files for just the Bs?"

Sighing. "You haven't read a thing - have you. Not actually a question. Before you ask me any more questions - consult all the reference materials. I'm busy."

"How many files have you written for the bear site? I mean in tot—"

Angry. "Time is up." Looks away and starts typing at a fast clip again.

"Not 30 seconds. Did you sleep in the office? Where? There's no place to lie down. Did you end up sleeping right there in chair?"

He keeps typing but it's clear that he's even angrier. "A maximum of 30 is implied."

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Better than the fed assigned to 4tran

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cumtown bit: trans fed who gets /tttt/ brainworms from their OSINT assignments

[–] radiofreeval@hexbear.net 10 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Rip in peace to her poor soul (she deserved it)

[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 1 year ago

Ms. Clymer, I've got a very important job for you....

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[–] manuallybreathing@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Thats why its important to have a username that will sound funny when read out in court x

[–] someone@hexbear.net 7 points 1 year ago

Or one that causes maximum confusion.

[–] principalkohoutek@hexbear.net 54 points 1 year ago

My "this is not a sting operation" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt

[–] catonkatonk@hexbear.net 52 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Once their quants decipher our emojis we're cooked

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago (2 children)

die-motherfucker

We love our jokes even if they seemingly seem tasteless. We sincerely hoped Mr. Kissinger lived to be 200. 𝚍𝚒𝚎-𝚖𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚎𝚛 was all in fun.

[–] comrade_pibb@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Bozo was a loving nickname! RIP Bozo I cry as I mourn!

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

we cry erytiem

[–] Teekeeus@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

We sincerely hoped Mr. Kissinger lived to be 200.

I unironically wanted him to live so he could continue witnessing the decline and slow collapse of america

[–] TraschcanOfIdeology@hexbear.net 44 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When we represent an actual threat beyond having nuclear takes on foreign policy and arguments about outdoor cats. So, never?

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (3 children)

Feds watching this thread, reclining in their office chairs, laughing to themselves and making jokes about stacking rocks.

[–] Evilsandwichman@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It'll never not be funny to me that there were eager people who joined the feds to stop domestic (muslim) terrorists who through the course of scouring folks' trash realized actually most people from this group or that are actually entirely ordinary, boring people, and the threats they were promised they would face up against were basically nonexistent, contrary to what most people are told.

I'd post the article I read this from but it was ages ago.

[–] ashinadash@hexbear.net 9 points 1 year ago

I want this article :/

[–] HexBroke@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

Some of actually work for our salary and post as well

It's a better gig than the catfishing unit

[–] OutrageousHairdo@hexbear.net 40 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably never. It makes a lot more sense to keep the site running as is and skim a trickle of information off the top. People blow off steam here sometimes, say things they probably shouldn't say on the Internet, and that gets added to the case file as just another exhibit.

[–] CrackBurger@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago (2 children)
[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 34 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I’m just waiting for someone to file a FOIA request on Hexbear and Chapo chat

[–] Findom_DeLuise@hexbear.net 25 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Those two are safe. Lemmygrad Dot Net and ShrekLand, on the other hand...

[–] TheDoctor@hexbear.net 22 points 1 year ago

Shrekland.net is where we store all the terror propaganda

[–] OutrageousHairdo@hexbear.net 24 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I don't mean that they have one for like Hexbear itself or any particular person, more that they just use it to find people of interest (and to keep tabs on ones they've already picked up on). In that respect, it's not so different from other social media, but the density of people with """unacceptable""" political beliefs might make it a particularly alluring source. Dossier is probably the more accurate term, as case file implies some kind of pending action.

[–] SSJ2Marx@hexbear.net 35 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

In like a year when another US ally is committing yet another genocide we'll be targeted along with a thousand other leftish websites by the tiktok law.

[–] OutrageousHairdo@hexbear.net 19 points 1 year ago

God imagine if we get bought by fucking Facebook or some shit.

[–] supafuzz@hexbear.net 33 points 1 year ago (2 children)

I don't know the site has been running pretty good lately, are we sure it wasn't seized already?

[–] DefinitelyNotAPhone@hexbear.net 23 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Realizing we've been had because the sysadmins have been too quiet recently

[–] someone@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

They're in stealth mode, getting ready to announce the HexCoin Exchange beta. Did you know you can use a single HexJuice on multiple HexApes? It's true!

[–] NephewAlphaBravo@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

patriots are in control

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 31 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I dunno, probably when I start my ruthless terrorist organization, COBRA

[–] Speaker@hexbear.net 20 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Cogitating
On
Butts,
Rears, and
Asses

[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 16 points 1 year ago

Gives new meaning to the phrase "The kiss of the cobra "

[–] SorosFootSoldier@hexbear.net 27 points 1 year ago (1 children)

When we ddos Joe Biden's 2024 page with ppb

[–] peeonyou@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago (1 children)

How do i contribute to making this a reality

[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 8 points 1 year ago

Pig poop bidens

[–] InevitableSwing@hexbear.net 21 points 1 year ago

Another question is "Who will do it to us?"

  • The GOP

or

  • The dems

or

  • A unified effort. Bipartisanship!
[–] GrouchyGrouse@hexbear.net 18 points 1 year ago (2 children)

This place is clearly 100% parody satire. We're all libs here. We say it all the time.

[–] thetaT@hexbear.net 11 points 1 year ago

we're all just Minecraft players

[–] DirtyPair@hexbear.net 17 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] CrackBurger@hexbear.net 13 points 1 year ago

Project 2025

[–] bigboopballs@hexbear.net 15 points 1 year ago

when they find my account

[–] CthulhusIntern@hexbear.net 6 points 1 year ago

After we implement a DDoS-for-hire service.