Everywhere they went people were getting kidnapped, orcs were invading, trees were coming to life, and the dead were rising. Id want to be far away from that elevator.
this post was submitted on 03 Feb 2025
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You know for a fact that they'll literally coming charging across the countryside to rescue you though
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They probably wouldn't be that familiar with the workings of a lift either
Only one of them.
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So ackshually...
Aragorn was descended from Elros who was a half-elf, but that was so long ago he may or may not be a full man depending on how racist one is about miscegenation.
Legolas was an elf and Gimli was a dwarf, so explicitly not Men.
How about Eomer and Faramir instead?
Men as in males, yes.
Men as in humans, mostly no
Elros and Elrond had a choice as to become Eldar or Edain. Elrond chose Eldar, while Elros chose Edain. Once they chose their mixed nature was resolved.
Not exactly, since the Númenóreans still had longer lives than Men due to their elven heritage. So while one could absolutely make the argument they were Men, there's also a case to be made saying they weren't pureblooded Men.
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I'd also go for Data, Riker, and LaForge.
You need O’Brien to act as a lightning rod for any misfortune.
Ehhh debatable if Data is a "man", and LaForge... well, he wouldn't be on my list. My picks from TNG to share a turbolift would would be Picard, O'Brien and Riker. Picard would be either ruminating on some deep crisis or current drama and be quiet and majestic. O'Brien would be preoccupied and anxious about some project and trying to build up the courage to talk to the senior officers about it. Riker would be relaxed, polite and crack a joke that would make you chuckle.
If counting non-human male characters across ST, then Data, Odo and Spock.
non-zero chance Riker tries to flirt with you
Sure but he would handle rejection well and laugh it off. Riker, afaicr, respected signals and consent. He flirted with people who seemed open to it and was perfectly professional to those who weren't. What makes flirting feel unsafe is the threat of men taking it badly if rejected.
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Is the elevator spacious?
Arnold's got a decent number of allegations against him, but Andre would protect you so I guess it's honestly a freebie for the other two if he's in the mix.
Andre was a sweetheart, but a famous alcoholic. You'd have to worry about him passing out drunk. You don't want to get crushed by a 500 pound teddy bear in a small space.
There's a story of him passing out drunk in a hotel bar and the staff just having to let him stay the night where he fell because they couldn't move him.
Let's be real. We're all NPCs so if any of the men are from something with action, we'll probably end up dead. My pick would be Bob Ross, Mr. Rogers, and Steve Irwin. Super calming and chill
Steve was an amazing person but I wouldn’t describe him as chill.
He was pure overwhelming enthusiastic energy.
"Speed into one nostril, coke into the other"-energy
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I tried to come up with a counter argument and realized pretty quickly that I didn’t want to.
I mean, they're objectively correct.
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Figures that the safest men to be stuck with aren't human men.
Somewhat related: that's a dream blunt rotation right there
I feel like Gimli would hog it, Aragorn would obviously be awesome, and Legolas would be chill but you could tell he's thinking your weed sucks, he's got a much better connection.
Gimli, it's a blunt, not a microphone
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Three guys wearing a red shirt
three clones of tom scott, who say "we are standing in an elevator going to the 5th floor" in perfect unison as you enter
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Not if yer a fucken orc!
My two older brothers and my dad
first 3 celebridudes that popped into my head:
Tom Hanks, Keannu Reaves, and Willie Nelson.
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The fact that they had to go to fictional characters is significant.
Good point!
Okay, real world examples from me (notably, a big dude, so y'know, probably not as in tune to things as I could be):
Bernie Sanders My brother My Uncle
... I... Really thought I'd have better options until I really started thinking about it
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Just put me with Pedro Pascal, in any role.
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