Eat beans
this post was submitted on 23 Mar 2026
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I put my arms out like I am receiving their energy and look them in the eyes with a crazed smile.
Clap and make unwavering eye contact.
Panic.
Smile and wave boys, smile and wave
Wave your hands towards your face with closed eyes and your head high.
Join in the singing but replace the word "you" with the word "me".
This is the actual correct answer, no?
Sigh loudly, roll eyes, scowl judgementally,
...just like Mom.
Grin and bear it
I usually just screech loudly until it's over or the restaurant staff come over to intervene
This is the greatest comment section ever
Class warfare
Hand out cigars
Think about how you're slowly creeping towards death.
The older I get, the more quickly it creeps.
Smile and clap the beat
the "Happy" in Happy Birthday starts on beat 3.5
The Happy Birthday song is 3/4 time actually and Happy is on beat 3, at least the one I know of.
yes I stand corrected. I was just thinking it was a grace bar and didn't think any further of it
Sing with them.
Find the exit.
Sit and grin?
Stare at everyone with disdain except for one person. Pure contempt for that person. After the singing has concluded. I point at that one person and say “Execute them”. Damn it feels good to be good to be a benevolent dictator.
My manager suggested that the team would sing for me last year in a group meeting. I asked why and she said they should sing because it's my birthday. I had to look on the calendar because she sounded so convinced but it was several weeks until my birthday. Since that she has never suggested happy birthday singing again and I really hope it remains like that.
Smile and look around at all the people who want to celebrate you, and muse on how fortunate you are to have them in your life.
What are you, some kind of normie?
Smile creepily and make direct and awkward eye contact?
Yes, but with one person in particular.
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Bathe in the adulation, absorb their hymn of worship like the shining golden god you are. To thine own self be true! Happy Birthday = Hail Satan
Twerk
Masturbate furiously. The goal is to finish when the song ends.
The cake needed a little more icing anyway.
Well that's just the icing on the cake
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Immediately blow the candles out and get them to stop singing so it’s no longer awkward for everyone involved.
That is so much more awkward. I love it.
I did it a few years back, just in the spur of the moment wondering if it would stop the song; it did and they’ve stopped singing to me since then, so I consider it a double win.
absolute power move, that's awesome
Slap on a grateful expression, stare into the candles, and conjure up a wish worthy of the magic they're casting with this ancient chant.
No idea, but once I was feeling extra awkward and started singing along with the rest of them.
scream in pain and agony until its quiet, then say "thank you everyone, let's enjoy the cake"
/s
I think I usually just clap with them
You're supposed to sit there awkwardly looking deeply embarrassed.
Practice your death metal vocals
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