this post was submitted on 17 Apr 2026
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[–] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 3 points 32 minutes ago

Yeah, I know when a polycule is looking for a short member they can lift up to get the cookie jar & high shelf stuff.

[–] Supervisor194@lemmy.world 9 points 1 hour ago

I'd need more information before I could say I wanted to be in their polycule, much less their breeding pool.

[–] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 2 points 59 minutes ago* (last edited 56 minutes ago)

My favorite part is that you can’t fuck anyone outside the polycule, except at burning man 🤣

[–] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 30 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

There are so many little things in that link that sends up a little red flag, but this section.... Oof.

Family planning:

  • We would like to have 3-4 kids.
  • We are considering having Melissa breed with Norman or Zaid, and/or Mackenzie with Douglas, as we believe these would be the genetically-optimal combinations. This would likely take place in the next 1-2 years.
  • As you would be a newer addition to the polycule, we would need to get to know you for 2-4 years (depending on good behavior) before considering adding you to the gene pool.
[–] remotelove@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 hours ago

Genetically-optimal? How in the fuck do they determine that? What happens if their spawn is not genetically-optimal? Recycling bin?

Geezus fuck people are dumb sometimes.

[–] TheAlbatross@lemmy.blahaj.zone 87 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (1 children)

Wanted: Roommate, must fuck every other housemate

Edit: wow this is a cult lmao

[–] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 4 points 55 minutes ago

It seems like a big commitment just to save a few bucks on rent

[–] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 51 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago) (4 children)

I clicked the link and read the whole thing. I still am not sure if this is sincere or satire. It's so out there that I kind of hope it is real, and that they find what they are looking for.

[–] troybot@midwest.social 3 points 49 minutes ago

I don't believe you because the fine print at the bottom specifically says you can't click the link

[–] TherapyGary@lemmy.blahaj.zone 36 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

My favorite part:

What is your “special move”? *

If you are under 25 & haven’t figured it out yet, you may skip this question.

[–] fireweed@lemmy.world 28 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I was leaning real but intentionally humorous, but then they asked for the applicant's LinkedIn profile and now I have no idea

[–] mika_mika@lemmy.world 26 points 4 hours ago

I lost my shit at the exemption for outside hookups while on holiday at Burning Man. So specific. 😅

[–] Dojan@pawb.social 3 points 2 hours ago

I’ve heard of bananas stories like this over on StrangeÆons channel, so it might very well be real.

[–] Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 4 hours ago

The breeding pool stuff makes me lean more towards satire

[–] Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 16 points 4 hours ago (1 children)

I'm not poly, but $1,500 is pretty cheap rent for San Francisco...

[–] Speculater@lemmy.world 3 points 2 hours ago

Are you sexually compatible with all genders in their cule?

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 38 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

Yeaaaah, that’s not being polyamorous. There’s no amour anywhere near this group. Just somebody (or somebodies) who wants to manipulate a vulnerable victim.

There are plenty of great poly people out there who won’t try to steal your money or control your body.

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 36 points 5 hours ago (3 children)

Yeah 100%. As someone who is a "normal" poly person, the stuff listed in this is awful and terrible and shouldnt ever actually be considered polyamory.

[–] Walk_blesseD@piefed.blahaj.zone 1 points 24 minutes ago

What's so terrible about long walks on the beach in 3:4 formation??? /j

[–] pennomi@lemmy.world 14 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

High five from a fellow poly person! 🖐️

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 15 points 4 hours ago (2 children)

Yooo!!! Lets start a cult in Seattle!

[–] queerlilhayseed@piefed.blahaj.zone 8 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago) (1 children)

I only join cults nowadays if they offer a remote-only option. Tried it out during the pandemic, got used to it, refuse to go back. It's so much less work.

[–] forrgott@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 hour ago

But how do you distribute the 'kool-aid'?

[–] SuperNovaStar@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 3 hours ago

Not even who you replied to but If you can help me relocate I am so down :P

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 4 points 3 hours ago (1 children)
[–] ShaggySnacks@lemmy.myserv.one 3 points 2 hours ago

Life in plastic, its fantastic.

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 29 points 5 hours ago (1 children)

I should note: this is NOT me.

[–] recentSlinky@lemmy.ca 52 points 5 hours ago

Found the defector

[–] mech@feddit.org 16 points 5 hours ago (2 children)

You can't click on this link

Never heard of QR codes? Are all members over 50 years old?

[–] Maven@piefed.zip 18 points 5 hours ago

Most of them are 20s or 30s but one of them is 65.

The worst part is that one of them is a software engineer!

[–] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 6 points 4 hours ago

I don’t understand this post. All I see are red flags.

[–] SolacefromSilence@fedia.io 4 points 4 hours ago

I was convinced this was satire and then I clicked through the link. See for yourself and maybe apply :)

[–] Not_mikey@lemmy.dbzer0.com 1 points 4 hours ago

It's San Francisco, one of them was bound to be