this post was submitted on 22 Dec 2023
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the_dunk_tank

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It's the dunk tank.

This is where you come to post big-brained hot takes by chuds, libs, or even fellow leftists, and tear them to itty-bitty pieces with precision dunkstrikes.

Rule 1: All posts must include links to the subject matter, and no identifying information should be redacted.

Rule 2: If your source is a reactionary website, please use archive.is instead of linking directly.

Rule 3: No sectarianism.

Rule 4: TERF/SWERFs Not Welcome

Rule 5: No ableism of any kind (that includes stuff like libt*rd)

Rule 6: Do not post fellow hexbears.

Rule 7: Do not individually target other instances' admins or moderators.

Rule 8: The subject of a post cannot be low hanging fruit, that is comments/posts made by a private person that have low amount of upvotes/likes/views. Comments/Posts made on other instances that are accessible from hexbear are an exception to this. Posts that do not meet this requirement can be posted to !shitreactionariessay@lemmygrad.ml

Rule 9: if you post ironic rage bait im going to make a personal visit to your house to make sure you never make this mistake again

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[–] FlakesBongler@hexbear.net 65 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Yeah, let's fill the streets with Micro-Machines, that will work

[–] zifnab25@hexbear.net 54 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Left: woke boston

  • Cars moving through city streets smoothly and without issue

Right: city we should aim for

  • Five lane traffic jam

Even their fantasies suck.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 23 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The murican rightoid loves everything ugly, despite claiming to all be supermodels, they're a tacky people with horrible taste in everything. They even love the aesthetic of busy over actually getting work done. At least traditionalists in say, Italy, are surrounded by beautiful architecture and a fondness for art, so you can't really be a conservative in Italy without appreciating these traditions....and damn does Italy have some nice cultural aspects worth conserving.

They're unironically too insecure with their masculinity to accept anything other than vomit inducing ugliness.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Well if all the drivers were on e-bikes...

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[–] citrussy_capybara@hexbear.net 64 points 2 years ago (1 children)

How have you woke fools not considered shrinking people and cars down to 1/5 scale and then building massive 12-lane highways through city streets?

[–] nilloc@discuss.tchncs.de 4 points 2 years ago

I’m for both smaller cars and bike lanes. I got run over by a cab in a section of Boston with 4 lanes of 2way traffic and parallel parking on both sides.

A cab pulled an illegal u turn right into me. Then sat in traffic before some bystanders thankfully blocked his escape.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 62 points 2 years ago

Copy and pasting a five lane highway into a two lane street I have a master's degree in civil engineering

[–] Aryuproudomenowdaddy@hexbear.net 57 points 2 years ago (3 children)
[–] autismdragon@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago

Love seeing evidence of the depth of depravity of conservatives.

[–] chungusamonugs@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago

One thing I think is very telling about conservatives is that they witness the same symptoms of systemic failures that we do, yet the only solutions they can ever come to are that people must just be that way and need to be addressed with violence. They never stop to consider that people who are doing well and have their needs met wouldn't need to run around and tear open packages.

They love the idea of having a class of people who are below them because it gives them someone to punch down on. Utterly appalling.

[–] alexandra_kollontai@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

Pretty sure

H-have they even read it? It's short!

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

me on a monster-cross bicycle rolling over the tiny car gridlock

sicko-biker

[–] buh@hexbear.net 42 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Walking? More like wokeing 😤

[–] culpritus@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (2 children)

chefs-kiss

In 15 minute city, wokeing in mandatory!

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 20 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

wojak-nooo: "Nooo, walking excludes the working class from our cities (But high rent doesn't, trust me.)"

[–] RyanGosling@hexbear.net 4 points 2 years ago

6:00 - woke up

6:30 - a woke around the neighborhood

7:00 - gay breakfast

8:00 - woke from home (offices are too scary!)

12:00 - bisexual lunch

1:00 - back to wokeing

5:00 - trip to the weed store

6:00 - lesbian dinner

[–] Awoo@hexbear.net 37 points 2 years ago

Lmao just make cars literally 5% of their actual size. Ok.

[–] mar_k@hexbear.net 34 points 2 years ago (2 children)

racist

Oh yeah my friend in Mass says every chud is calling Mayor Wu a reverse KKK member for holding an event for poc council members lmfao chuds are so fragile

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago (1 children)

CHUDs committed the crime, so the least they can do is take their punishment like a man.

It reminds me of this scene from little dogs on the prairie, where Hollister swears revenge on Gilroy over the idea that Gilroy might not have forgiven him over past transgressions.. I have a nearly identical conversation during Holidays when I have to deal with CHUD relatives whining about reverse-racism.

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[–] oregoncom@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 22 points 2 years ago

It begs the question. Why do they even live or work in the city in the first place? If his holiness has deemed the city unfit for the great white man's tastes. He is free to move to the suburbs. Come to think of it. the suburbs would be great to keep the CHUDs separate from people who matter. You live over there, we live over here and we will NEVER interact. I don't bother you, you don't bother me.

[–] sooper_dooper_roofer@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago

yea, what if we just made all cars 5x smaller. then we could fit 5x as many cars into the road.

[–] SmokinStalin@hexbear.net 31 points 2 years ago

I also think we should all just be jarred heads piloting rc cars.

[–] Jenniferr@hexbear.net 29 points 2 years ago

What if we took the city and moved it

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 28 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

Robert Moses would totally move buildings if it meant 7 lanes streets.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Most of the people who demand what is essentially a car mandate are always fucking slow drivers.

If they're so unimportant, so boring that they can spend the days twiddling their thumbs in constant traffic jams. Fine. But why are they unable to enjoy their boring 'hobby' without forcing EVERYONE to participate? Urbanists support walking, biking, trains, monorails, lightrails, buses, all sorts of choices in how you get around and it's all leagues more aesthetically pleasing than spending hours on end in bumper to bumper traffic because hollywood said "carz gotz duh freedumz!"

I'll admit that I like the look on the Alfa Romeo Giulia Quadrifoglio, but even that will lose it's appeal real fast when I'm stuck in bumper to bumper traffic.

[–] buh@hexbear.net 32 points 2 years ago

being a "I respect their lifestyle but they need to stop shoving it in everyone's face! 😤" guy but for driving

[–] nothx@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

We can't keep letting these urban planners think that more lanes are gonna solve the problem.

[–] ComRed2@hexbear.net 27 points 2 years ago (3 children)

The woke left is trying to make me use my legs! frothingfash

[–] RoabeArt@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

OT: what's origin story of that emoji and where could I find a higher res version of it?

[–] Tankiedesantski@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Driving involves only the use of my right leg. Walking requires me to also use my left leg.

Leftist conspiracy confirmed.

[–] 7bicycles@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago

Everyone in europe is a "centrist" (still right) because they occasionally use their left leg for the clutch tracks perfectly

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 5 points 2 years ago

Underrated. We need to use him as our screaming lib equivalent.

[–] Deadend@hexbear.net 24 points 2 years ago

Cars for ants

[–] WIIHAPPYFEW@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

Getting stuck in a traffic jam of fisher price cars

[–] anarchoilluminati@hexbear.net 19 points 2 years ago

A woke racist? So, a lib?

[–] CloutAtlas@hexbear.net 18 points 2 years ago

The only solution clownworld offers is clown cars.

[–] iridaniotter@hexbear.net 14 points 2 years ago

Damn woke Minkowski spacetime frothingfash

[–] 666PeaceKeepaGirl@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago

if only my city had cars the size of traffic cones, maybe i too could experience the joy of being stuck in bumper-to-bumper traffic

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 12 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (2 children)

What's with rightoids? They hate touching grass or something?

EDIT: Re-read my comment and tried to expand on it to avoid any possible ableism.

[–] axont@hexbear.net 11 points 2 years ago

They hate being outside where they might have to look at an Asian person or something.

They'd rather commute into the city so they can live in little white suburban enclaves

[–] Beaver@hexbear.net 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Their legs don't work or something?

A lot of them develop severe mobility issues later in life due to their extremely sedentary life cycle.

[–] DragonBallZinn@hexbear.net 6 points 2 years ago

Now I understand why suburbs are the more affordable option, it's another mass disabling event in the same vein as why they decided to ignore COVID. NOT letting people suffer from conditions that require expensive medical attention? Well that's just leaving money on the table!

[–] SpiderFarmer@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

Boston traffic really stuck with me having experienced it 15 years ago. And I wasn't even the driver.

[–] Evilphd666@hexbear.net 10 points 2 years ago

This is our Mattel Power Wheels dream.

[–] GalaxyBrain@hexbear.net 7 points 2 years ago

If we make cars that are smaller than people we cab fit more on the road!

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