this post was submitted on 13 May 2025
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Lemmy Shitpost

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Welcome to Lemmy Shitpost. Here you can shitpost to your hearts content.

Anything and everything goes. Memes, Jokes, Vents and Banter. Though we still have to comply with lemmy.world instance rules. So behave!


Rules:

1. Be Respectful


Refrain from using harmful language pertaining to a protected characteristic: e.g. race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion.

Refrain from being argumentative when responding or commenting to posts/replies. Personal attacks are not welcome here.

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2. No Illegal Content


Content that violates the law. Any post/comment found to be in breach of common law will be removed and given to the authorities if required.

That means:

-No promoting violence/threats against any individuals

-No CSA content or Revenge Porn

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3. No Spam


Posting the same post, no matter the intent is against the rules.

-If you have posted content, please refrain from re-posting said content within this community.

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6. NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.


-Content that is NSFW should be behind NSFW tags.

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If you see content that is a breach of the rules, please flag and report the comment and a moderator will take action where they can.


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9.Ten Forward

10.LinuxMemes (Linux themed memes)


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[–] trslim@pawb.social 72 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

Well looks like u got the best option

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[–] Venus_Ziegenfalle@feddit.org 67 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
[–] RushLana@lemmy.blahaj.zone 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I only have a table to my left... Well this is gonna hurt.

[–] arrow74@lemm.ee 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

My couch is the only object on my left

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[–] x4740N@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

Put The Cat down shane dawson

[–] 9point6@lemmy.world 33 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

I just walked past a parked car as I read that—it's been nice knowing you all

[–] lime@feddit.nu 18 points 2 weeks ago
[–] acidbattery@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago

Fleshy car wrap :D

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[–] peoplebeproblems@midwest.social 29 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

A couch. Is this like one of JD Vance's fantasies? To be fucked by a couch?

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[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
[–] drewbelloc@ani.social 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Is that south park episode again, now i need to rewatch it tonight

[–] ThisIsAManWhoKnowsHowToGling@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

This is my chinchilla. Her name is Muffin and she wants to rip the baseboards out from the wall so she can eat them

[–] drewbelloc@ani.social 7 points 2 weeks ago

When i thought she couldn't get more cute you tell me her name is Muffin, now i wanna to carry her

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[–] rockerface@lemm.ee 24 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Toilet paper? All according to plan

[–] Apytele@sh.itjust.works 12 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Same but would be maybe better to not have it go all the way up

[–] kingpepe8006@sh.itjust.works 10 points 2 weeks ago

I guess he's trying to deep clean the pipes

[–] brokenlcd@feddit.it 17 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

What a horrible day to be working around mig welding machines.

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[–] Gradually_Adjusting@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

A 30cm offset serrated bread knife? At least the base is vaguely flared.

[–] Chef_Boyardee@lemm.ee 14 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I'm not putting my cat up my butt, you fucking weirdo.

[–] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 7 points 2 weeks ago

You don't do everything a picture on the internet tells you to?

[–] Routhinator@startrek.website 12 points 2 weeks ago

Well.. it's a door. At least my ass will be closed for business after that.

[–] Flamekebab@piefed.social 11 points 2 weeks ago

looks at radiator dubiously

It's a car. RIP

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 10 points 2 weeks ago (4 children)

My fiance is 5' tall. I'm going to literally explode.

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[–] serpineslair@lemmy.world 10 points 2 weeks ago
[–] guiguinofake@sh.itjust.works 8 points 2 weeks ago
[–] Thcdenton@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

A entire bedroom wall

[–] reddfugee@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

My poor Blåhaj…

[–] sfled@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago

I now own a Browntooth speaker.

[–] DaCrazyJamez@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 weeks ago

This is rather convenient, as the object to my left is a roll of toilet paper

[–] Diddlydee@feddit.uk 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

It's pointing at my finger, so an easy one.

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[–] Hadriscus@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) (1 children)

Of all guitars, why did I choose a ten-string one

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There’s a window, but just outside the window is a tall skinny CACTUS

[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

I'm lying on my right side in bed so I guess the ceiling?

[–] MelodiousFunk@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 weeks ago

Same, except mine has a fan on it. 🪦

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[–] Enkers@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago

Hairbrush. It'd fit fine, but it's got rubberized paint that's coming off the handle. :/

[–] owsei@programming.dev 6 points 2 weeks ago

A double width bus chair

Fuck

[–] Fuck_u_spez_@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I was leaning against this when I opened the post:

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[–] justme@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 2 weeks ago

The wall? I wonder how that's gonna work

[–] ArtemisimetrA@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

Reading this on the toilet, literally it's toilet paper

[–] flambonkscious@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] unexposedhazard@discuss.tchncs.de 5 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

A towel. Idk how im gonna make this work. Maybe if soaked with enough lube or oil 🤔

[–] acidbattery@lemm.ee 7 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] shipsnwolf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 2 weeks ago

Small metal filling cabinet that is wider than I am, death is what I get

[–] Zenith@lemm.ee 5 points 2 weeks ago

I’m at the DMV, a teenaged girl is sitting next to me 😬

[–] Zomg@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)
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[–] GreenKnight23@lemmy.world 5 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

a nice soft blanket. not sure how much will fit but I bet when I take it out it'll feel like taking packing out of your sinuses after an infection.

I can BREATHE!

[–] Rampsquatch@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)
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[–] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 weeks ago

I am currently regretting my choice to sit in the garden. About 20 concrete blocks.

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